Get [Bleep]'d

So, last night, me and dear ol' dad are catching up on quality time, sitting around watching last season's reruns of South Park.

During the commercial breaks, there are two advertisements for a new cellular telephone coming in 2006. Now, these commercials don't just brag about how handy and versatile this phone will be, they don't just show how big their service will be with humorous CG visuals like Verizon, they actually go so far as to show people in the state of dying (one an ODing rocker, the other an over-sexed politician), with another character admonishing them for dying before Amp'd has come out.

Holy unrighteous fuck.

My life can't meet it's fated end without buying your hyped swiss army phone? I'm not allowed to be reunited with my lost loved ones before paying out the ass for a SECOND broadband service? I can't cross over to the next life without first trading mp3s and downloading music videos on another personal electronics device?

That may be the most offensive advertisement I've ever seen (this from the guy who's seen the TIDE detergent ad with an Asian dry-cleaner whose customer says, "Ancient Chinese secret, huh?").

Motherfucker.

I'll remember to leap onto the casket of the first of my friends to die, clawing at the corpse, screaming, "You sonofabitch! The next gen eye implants were only two months away! What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

Hair

Every person that came here looking for a musical revue can march right back to your favorite fetish site because I ain't talkin' about that.

On my most recent trek through Wikipedia, the best organization for free infromation I've yet encountered on the net, I read through the listing, "Hairstyles."

It's interesting to me, because my own hair is noticeably different than my peers, being fairly short like a crew cut, but also paired with a significant goattee. There are several hairstyles similar to a crew cut, or even variants of what some would identify as a "crew cut." The point is, it's interesting how we specifically style these dead cells erupting from our cranial epidermis*, and how these can have social relevance.

*(I like big words that are unnecessary)

How often do we notice hair? Is your mother's or father's hair a topic of discussion, or do you go out of your way to not comment on it? Does your lover know you love/hate their current style? Are you regarded as less because of your hairstyle?

Hard to say. Hair, at least head hair, is very easy to customize what with dies, length, texture and volume. But, any change is relatively irreversible the more things you do to it. More investment leads to greater impact. Less hair, less to work with. More dye, less you can re-dye sooner.

Some hairstyles are inherently considered "dirty" or "mangy" regardless of the rest of a person's appearance, and some are considered "elegant" or "mature." This can easily change a lot, but even across vast regions, some conceptions stay the shame.

It's easy enough for some people to say, "it's just hair," but when these same ideas apply to clothes, height, weight, skin color, gender or age, things take on a deeper meaning.

For your own investigations: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Hairstyles

Boho Whatsis?

The word Bohemian, in the context I'm using it, first comes from 19th century France.

Bohemian (boho for short) is defined in The American College Dictionary as "a person with artistic or intellectual tendencies, who lives and acts with no regard for conventional rules of behavior."

I'd have to agree to having unconventional social practices and disregard for traditional behavior. But a look at the original workings of bohemianism shows where cracks begin to appear:

1) I do not fully reject materialism, but I like to believe the items I use most and have the most "need" for have utilitarian value. Form follows function to me.

2) I adhere to disciplined codes of behavior to minimize the damage I might cause to others, including sexual behavior and intoxicant use. Wanton sex and drugs can make you feel great, despite the fact you're shitting all over someone else at the time. I would rather not leave such a capricious and inconsiderate legacy. Others may be carefree with my heart, but I will not reciprocate.

3) Money as a goal itself leads to nothing. Money as a means to an end... With proper funding, greater projects and works can be undertaken, greater charity and philanthropy are possible. Lots of money (or capital) means lots of potential.

In its essence, bohemian is both a term for counter-culture adherent, as well as a culturally timestuck characterization, not really existing outside its setting, much like a "real" flapper or "real" hippie. These terms existed in their timeframe, but became something else beyond them, despite whoever tried to continue the lifestyle.

I am not a bohemian, because I do not live in squalor yet exert a grand artistic creativity and independence.

I am a bohemian because my creativity and intelligence are unbound by conventional bias or the belief in "one way."

To be honest, I call myself a bohemian because I bathe more than hippies, wear brighter clothes than goths, wear less obtrusive clothes than punks, and act more laid back than a preppy.

I also enjoy wearing sandals a lot.

Beats the hell out of tying laces.

That Time of Year...Whatever It's Called

In recent years, a divide between religious Conservatives and politically correct Liberals has basically torn apart everything that was once disputed with a smile and playful shove. Now people are decrying the non-use of "Christmas" in public messages and greetings or requesting we not have too much Christian iconography around public buildings.

What do I say to people who wish me good tidings for the new year?

"Happy Winter Solstice"

The Winter Solstice is when the Sun is at its lowest point on the celestial equator, or more generally, when it's incredibly fucking cold in the Northern Hemisphere.

It's a cold, dead time of year, perhaps when you're reminded of lost friends or lovers, or how long it's been since...something. The next few months aren't going to be much better, and despair runs in excess in many places.

Since human culture has existed, there was celebration around the day (usually Dec. 21st or 22nd) when winter was it's bleakest, earliest. Christians and non-Christians alike celebrate Christmas as a time for exchanging gifts and spreading goodwill even when one is only given bad.

Whether or not you wish to make it a religious holiday is irrelevent. The season is for everyone to mark time on their calenders (and in their lives) and take note of accomplishments, failures, and opportunities in the new year.

Whatever your beliefs, just don't be a dick this winter, because that's not anybody's definition of good holiday spirit.