Artistic License to Kill

It goes without saying that if you've travelled the web, you've come across this new art medium called a webcomic. I won't argue the merits of webcomics here, because if Peanuts and Calvin and Hobbes get critically acclaimed hardcover collections, it's hardly a giant leap to see graphics over the internet having a similar value as graphics on paper. Indeed, webcomics may even be argued to be an improvement of printed strips, because aside from the broader capabilities in digital production, webcomics are more widely available to readers. But enough literary blowjob.

I've heard, through my various sojourns through the Net, various web comic creators...well, for lack of a better term,"shit-mouthing" one another's work. And in the age of sarcasm-as-martial art, that can get a bit petulant, if unnecessary. I suppose this behavior surprises me because I follow an invalid path of logic: webcomics bring me amusement, thus they must be designed to that end, thus their creators' only aesthetic judgment of webcomics is whether or not they provide amusement. I have to remind myself that (some of) these people are artists, and they take what they do seriously, and often their personal criticism will pepper their view of other artists' work. Doesn't mean I won't read all the unpopular shit.

A shining example of this is Penny Arcade. People alternately love or loathe Penny Arcade, even having opinions on the individual personalities of the creators. Obviously, being a strip heavily devoted to video gaming commentary and reference, any positions they take in the comic will rise ire with readers. But to start fire-bombing with derisive comments and critiques of the comic as a whole seems overkill.

Obviously, not all webcomics are created equal. The same situation exists with newspaper strips. Not everyone finds Peanuts or Calvin and Hobbes hilarious and witty, but you'd be hard-pressed to find people who could adamantly heap loads of scorn on Charles Schultz or Bill Waterson. Mostly because it's just pathetic, especially since the former is dead.

I hold a "love 'em or leave 'em" policy with my internet amusements. If I get some small iota of entertainment, however mindless, I frequent the website. If not, I lose interest and eventually delete the link. Beyond that I hardly raise thoughts on the content of most webcomics or webseries. That's how most people deal with internet entertainment. There's little to no critique necessary, mostly because it barely registers as art. Why bother comparing things when the audience treats it as replaceable cheap fun?

But enough of that. Let's see what we're really talking about: webcomics. Specifically, MY favorite webcomics.

Ctrl+Alt+Dlt [Control Alt Delete]
Yes, that's first on the list. Rather it was the first I came across and decided to frequent quite awhile ago. The basic gist of the story? Gamers are freaks. At least that's what I draw from it. When it first began, the comic's main characters were Ethan and Lucas, two roommates who both enjoy the various types of gaming but to starkly different degrees. Aside from their own exploits, the comic also shows there interaction with the computer illiterate, several potential love interests, and the oddities of the general world. There is also robot on occasion. In between the plot comics are nonsensical absurdist strips featuring The Chef, and strips illustrating logical fallacies and ironies of popular video games and gaming in general. I usually skip the Chef stuff.

Something*Positive
I actually had the pleasure of meeting the creator at the Tomato pizzaria in Denton when he'd made one of his frequent trips back to his native Texas. I'd never read or even heard of the comic, but a friend recommended it highly and encouraged me to come. I netted a free sketch of the Grim Reaper saying, "I'm gettin to ya" for my older sister. The comic itself has an eclectic cast of twenty-somethings living in Boston, but with one having ties to Texas. They're all drifting around, alternatively progressing and regressing down their own paths. Mainly the acerbic wit and "what-the-shit?" situations keep me coming back.

Full Frontal Nerdity
Done by the same fellow that produces the acclaimed black-and-white comic, Ps238 (Aaron Williams), FFN delivers exactly what its title promises: nerds. Or more specifically, geeks (damn you, there IS a difference!). If you've ever trembled at discussions of any production having the word "Star" in its title, BEWARE. Three friends (and one web camera) get together regularly for their traditional tabletop game while also discussing various issues and events in the Nerd World (which is vast and frightening......................BEWARE).

xkcd
I admit, there are days I have NO idea what this comic's talking about. And then there are times where it's piercing insight is only matched by the light of God. Y'know, like that part in Raiders of the Lost Ark where that guy's face melts? Yeah, just like that. Most of the early stuff is just sketch work, but later on creator Randall Munroe starts digging into his math and science background to come up with some real heady stuff. If philosophical play on words and Escher-inspired artwork isn't your thing...well, you suck and this comic hates you.

VG Cats
In my opinion, THE videogame/pop culture web comic. It's very tongue-in-cheek and oh so pretty, so you probably don't need more reasons to see it than that, but in case you do (dammit), you should know that there is regular use of gore, violence, perverse sexuality, blasphemy, unnatural acts and death. And obviously, cats.

Lil' Formers
A recent find, and probably the most direct in its audience and subject targetting. Basically, it's transformers. Cute. Wittle. Transformers. Making fun of transformers. That's it. And for me, that's enough.

Antiseptic Poetry
...has nothing to do with this comic. Seriously. The story begins as some post-modern superheroine tale, but then slowly careens into gal pal stories and body image debates (aka FAN SERVICE). I've only just come across this comic like, yesterday, but it's already gotten my erection-er, attention. Yes. And its exploration of the female-female dynamic in modern America is a rare find amongst the other male-produced webcomics. Plus boobies. Boobies are good.

The Perry Bible Fellowship
My absolute favorite. Hands down. The ups-and-downs of this comic will make your head spin. And then pop off. And then dance a jig, then a cha-cha, then box step, foxtrot and finally charleston itself to pieces. Because one second you're reading about children exploring . Each is standalone, with few carry-over gags, save some recurring character designs and motives for simplicity. If you liked the Far Side, you'll love this comic.

The Calm Before the Storm

The spring season is upon us, if not in weather, than in arbitrary calender notation. For most of the U.S., spring means new, new, new, specifically new entertainment media to satiate their staggering boredom. With so much stressful crap in their world, both large and small, this is the cheapest and most widely available drug to "turn on, tune in, [and] drop out." And what avenue is always reliably there to give them more cheap thrills and sensory overload every year? Cinema.

Already Frank Miller's 300 has taken over the box office and I'm sure most of you have suffered through the myriad catchphrases being beaten to death in pop culture. I liked the film, but more for it's individual presentation and comic book roots than any grand theme or idea it might present. It's an opera, an orgiastic splash painting of violence, and more of how a storyteller would embellish a military campaign to pass it on, than any historical treatment. It's also a huge encouragement for people to work on their abs. Seriously, lots of abs in that movie.

But even still, the 18-30 demographic is salivating for more as the summer months draw near, and already the films are lining up to power through the audiences' wallets. This weekend alone has Tarantino and Rodriguez's Grindhouse collaboration, as well as acclaimed production house Williams Street's animated feature based off their cult TV hit Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Neither of the films is going to offer "redeeming stories with broad appeal," but they are going to be quite successful. Why? Because they know their fan base and they give them exactly what they want; which is only what the creators' want. While on opposite ends of the pop culture spectrum (Tarantino and Rodriguez legit arthouse and commercial directors, Williams Street a Turner Broadcasting subdivision dedicated to absurdist humor), both share the artistic directive of knowing what they want to make, and making it. Trying to skew that towards an audience is not really required, because the audience bends their tastes to the productions, rather than vice versa. Also, that bomb scare in Boston was a shitload of free advertising.

After these two further assaults on pop culture, we get the tried and true "Summer Sequel Slam" with Spider-Man 3, 28 Weeks Later, Shrek 3, and Pirates of the Caribbean 3, all separated by one week each. It's honestly a big risk by all these studios to crunch every single feature into the month of May, and so close together, but it's a tried old method of studios to try and trump the hype of other franchises by making an audience choose between features.

Your movie selections for May will most likely depend on your own family makeup. The family moviegoers will see Shrek and Spidey immediately, and possibly Pirates, while the older audience members will want a taste of the frenetic in 28 Weeks Later, and a look of the Hollywood hot in Pirates. There's also bound to be a lot of crossover, so expect the big takers to be Spider-Man and Pirates, since they carry the widest and largest fan bases. If you want to avoid all this craziness at the multiplex, meaning you want a screening without a hundred screeching adolescents and little children, check for theatres showing the british cop parody, Hot Fuzz. It'll be out for several weeks beforehand, so you can enjoy it in peace.

And it doesn't stop there: June brings The 40-Year-Old Virgin fans Knocked Up, more sequels with Ocean's 13, Hostel II, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Evan Almighty and Live Free or Die Hard, as well as the latest Pixar creation, Ratatouille.

Assuming you've survived all that, July picks up with the ultra-hyped Transformers "live-action" feature (which has all the important stuff computer-generated, so good luck figuring out that label), followed by the latest Harry Potter adaptation (which will be followed by the final book being released a week later, so expect Potter mania mid-July), The Simpsons Movie and cult author Neil Gaiman's adapted work, Stardust.

So, you've had three solid months of sequels and adaptations; surely you can rest easy as we edge towards fall, right? Nope. Another "live-action" feature, Underdog (yes, that Underdog) opens August along with The Bourne Ultimatum, and they're followed by Rush Hour 3 and a film based on that god-awful toy line, Bratz. September will bring us the best-selling novel The Nanny Diaries, as well as the shameless screwball sport comedy Balls of Fury and the (hopefully) final Resident Evil film.

There's honestly much more than that to come (we haven't even reach October-December!), but I'll leave you drooling/trembling at those prospects. Within all that mess, there are actually lots of simple comedies and romances, as well as off-beat indie flicks to enjoy, so don't be fooled by mob rule into seeing what has the biggest poster. Go online and watch some trailers to see what you feel like paying for.

You're supposed to enjoy going to these, remember?